For many people forgiveness is one of the hardest steps to take as their journey progresses towards freedom of your spirit. Yet it is essential. For as long as you are unable to forgive, you keep yourself chained to the "unforgiven." You give them rent free space in your mind, emotional shackles on your heart, and the right to torment you in the wee hours of the night. here are some steps that you may find helpful towards forgiveness:

1. Know exactly how you feel about what happened and be able to articulate what about the situation si not ok. Validate your feelings about the situation.
2. Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else.
3. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with that person that upset you, or even accepting their action.
4. Get the right perspective on what is happening. Recognizing that your primary distress is coming from your hurt feelings, thoughts and physical upset you are suffering now, not what offended you or hurt you two minutes or ten years ago.
5. At the moment you feel upset ... practice a simple stress management technique to soothe your body's fight or flight response (self-soothing with your senses).
6. Give up expecting things from other people that they do not choose to give you. Practice the Serenity Prayer:
   
   God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
   the Courage to change the things I can and
   the Wisdom to know the difference.
   
   
7. Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met rather than through the experience that has hurt you.
8. Remember that life well lived is your best revenge. Focus on taking care of yourself, letting go and moving forward in your journey!
   
   To move from suffering to engagement with life ... living now and living fully--with (not in spite of)
   your past, with your memories, with your fears, and with your sadness. ~Steven C Hayes.
   
   
9. Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive.
10. Affirm to yourself daily:
    
    "I am deserving of healthy, supportive and loving relationships."

Source: Dr Frederic Luskim in Forgive for Good